When it comes to the season that is upon us, my belief is firm that it be called autumn and not fall. Autumn sounds delightfully stylish, more noble, classier for sure, and it should be noted that autumn starts with more confidence than does summer.
With autumn, of course, we get foliage, which is greatly overrated, but so be it. People seem to like it, so let it punctuate backgrounds then allow the leaves waft to the ground. Harmless hype. So long as the turf remains its lushest and crowds their thinnest, it is autumn golf that will resonate and stir my soul.
With autumn we also are provided fewer hours of sunshine but more time to reflect on this cherished game. Thus have various topics tickled my fancy of late and stirred up an array of thoughts. This week we’re talking cups, bunkers, and carts.
1) "They Runneth Over with silliness"
We’re talking cups, of course.
You almost want to call a moratorium on them, be it Ryder, Presidents, Solheim, Curtis, or Walker. At least until we can clear up so much of the childish cliches and remind the kids to stop reading from a script that is tired and stale.
Exactly where in the annals of studying Bobby Jones or reading “Ben Hogan’s Five Lessons” or listening to your grandparents and parents and mentors was it dictated that when you feel an opponent should have conceded a putt, but didn’t, just show your disrespect for the game by laying down your putter to indicate said putt was close and you never should have been forced to make it.
Of course, never, ever have golfers been taught such nonsense. It’s not in the fabric of the game.
Yet on a stage as vaunted as the Old Course, no less, there was a young American golfer pulling off such an act of stupidity in the Curtis Cup.
And in last week’s 15th biennial Presidents Cup, Tom Kim of South Korea saw fit to do similarly. He converted a very short putt but peeved that Xander Schauffele and Patrick Cantlay had failed to concede to him, the petulant Kim laid down his putter.
One day earlier, Kim and his playing competitor, Si Woo Kim, had made a birdie on the eighth hole and showed massive disrespect by moving on to the ninth tee while Scottie Scheffler – only the world’s greatest player, by the way – lined up a birdie putt to try and halve the hole.
That move was not dissimilar to 1999 at The Country Club when a couple of American players, perturbed at the Euros playing more diligently than liked, moved onward to the next tee without waiting respectfully greenside.
In ’99, of course, a U.S. celebration at the 17th green erupted, even though Jose Maria Olazabal still had a putt to play, a bad memory that was revived when in the recent Solehim Cup American caddies, ecstatic over a fairway shot holed for eagle, took off their shirts to create madness. No care that a European golfer had an improbable chance to match the eagle and had to wait for the showmanship to halt.
Fast forward to the last team session in the recent Presidents Cup when Si Woo Kim holed an incredible shot from a dicey and steep uphill lie above a bunker. He deserved to bask the roars and even the admiration of his competitors, Schauffele and Cantlay. Instead, Si Woo Kim ran around the green using the by-now-insufferable Steph Curry “night-night” hands folded like a pillow beneath his head.
That the “night-night” action is supposed to confirm game over, and Si Woo’s shot merely tied a match that his side would lose two holes later, only amplifies how utterly silly much of this international team competition has become at times.
There’s a script these matches seem to follow and too much of it focuses on contentiousness and selfishness rather than goodwill and respect of the game.
2) "Bloody obstacles"
They are not sand traps. Of that, we all agree. But after that the inconsistencies are far too many and wildly infuriating when it comes to bunkers.
Way too much sand early in the round. A few holes later you’re in a bunker with hardly any sand. As for those big sweeping steep faces where your ball can plug into the face and require you to leave half-a-dozen 8-inch-deep foot prints – you need two hacks to get it out, of course – that really enhances the pace-of-experience, eh?
A myriad of nagging issues arise when discussing bunkers, starting with rakes. They belong inside the bunker, or at least clubs need to incorporate the 80-20 rule (80 percent in, 20 percent out). Beyond the fact rakes should not be used as a blocking mechanism to keep balls from going into a bunker, there’s the issue of how haphazardly they are placed by golfers outside the bunkers.
For instance, in high rough, where not only can’t the mower see them, neither can the golfer.
Or up on the high side, which is maddening, because you always enter a bunker from the low side. (That’s Golf 101.)
We love thick rough around our bunkers, but so be it. There are ways to deal with that. Besides, moving to Australia (where their bunkering style is the best) or Scotland (where sod-faced bunkers are massively appealing) is not in the cards.
3. "Necessary evils"
That’s what golf carts are.
Understood, economics rule. Agreed, too, that for sufficient reasons related to health and age they need to be made available. But methinks they are greatly overused by golfers who are completely healthy enough to walk.
Rousing rounds of applause for those owners and architects who build courses that are intended to be for walkers. Cheers, too, for walkers and their push-carts. (Trolleys, they are properly called.)
Except for those exasperating resort courses where you pass through zip codes to get from green to tee, carts spoil so much of the fun that a round of golf brings. They also slow down play and should you disagree, argue elsewhere.
Sadly, but in a foursome of golfers with two carts, the interaction and conversation are cut in half. Which says nothing about driving through rough or, worse yet, the areas of high, brown native stuff. Oh, those times when two riders go to the left side of the fairway to watch one player hit, then meander over to the right side to watch the other one hit.
Then again, maybe that speaks to the issue. It’s not the cart, it’s the golfers driving the cart.
